Mean Girls and Boys - Why are some forms of bullying still overlooked or ignored by schools and parents - a ReadItTorial

It's been a while since we've written about Bullying in the "ReadItTorial" slot but recent events got me once again thinking about the different levels and subtle nuances of what constitutes bullying, both in the eyes of school and in the eyes of parents.

Recently it feels like things have got worse, as I expected, at C's school. At an age where kids have already drawn up their own cliques and boundaries, once kids get into the difficult "Tween" years (yep, before they're going through even more massive physical, situational and hormonal changes later on) it's like a slippery slope for some kids who end up on the receiving end of forms of bullying that (in our opinion) just aren't taken seriously enough.

These include (but are not exclusively limited to):

• Verbal intimidation. Again, this is quite often not picked up on or it's ignored completely as schools and parents fall back on the good old "Oh for goodness sake, develop a thicker skin, snowflake!" attitude. We've heard this time and time again, and fair enough C is a sensitive kid who takes comments and criticism to heart but in the eyes of the bully, they know exactly why they are doing what they're doing - and their aim is clearly to cause upset or anxiety. 

• Exclusion. This can take many different forms too, everything from certain kids being 'left out' whenever any class-wide or group-wide activities are planned, left out from social circles they may have once been included in, or even more stupidly, excluded whenever they take part in any group activities, sports or lessons in actual school time. Something else we've seen happen again and again, and something that we get a fairly 'light touch' response on when raised directly. 

• Physical bullying. This is the one that usually concerns me the most. Kids are clumsy, kids aren't always careful with what they're doing but when you hear that the same kid has pushed, knocked over, or hit your child again and again you start to wonder if it's just accidental, or whether there's something nastier going on. Again like the previous two examples, it's very difficult for schools and parents to respond to this without falling back on the horrid cliched "Kids will be kids" excuse. 

• Boys hitting / intimidating / undermining girls. For all the steps being taken in the wider world to ensure that girls and boys are treated equally, some boys have obviously been brought up or have inherited the view that they are the "stronger" sex, and will do things in school to assert this utter bullcrap opinion. I couldn't believe hearing about instances of things happening at school that you'd expect to hear grown-up mysogenists carrying out on a daily basis but you don't expect to hear boys doing the same type of things in school at an age where they should definitely not be using sexist / suggestive / downright insidious language or physical behaviour to girls.